“The Knotsmiths” An Intro Into The Least Known Profession On The Planet

"I Need a Fuckin' "Knotsmith" immediately!!

“I Need a Fuckin’ “Knotsmith” immediately!!

Let Me get started by saying that most of you may be scratching your heads, saying to yourselves, “Knotsmiths”?? What in the hell is “The Schizo Kid” talking about. Well, “The Knotsmiths” have entered every facet of modern society. Where there are “Hyperbolic adapters” and “New fangled PVC Cords” there are “Knotsmiths.”

We have all been there eh, It’s fuckin’ 2am and you are wrestling with that mangled, doomed mess of cords that is bundled up in your frustrated palm, while you curse your head of screaming, “Fuckin’ Fuck, these fuckin’ headphone wires” then you collapse exhausted and fuming in tears. That is just where the “Knotsmiths” enter the fray.

“The Knotsmiths” are like the fuckin’ mob or the “Masons”, except they specialize in untangling that bungled pile of cords you frequently contemplate sledge hammering in exasperation. Fuckin’ Headphones wires, Doomed Auxilllary cables, lawn mower extension cords, Dvd Cables, “Playstation” cords, fuckin’ HDMI connectors, toaster cord extenders, amplifier cords, fuckin’ matted and obliterated I-pod charger cords, Dread-locked guitar cords, knotted and double knotted skipping ropes, telephone tangled extenders, looped up “Playstation” controllers and list goes on and fuckin’ on. Who the fuck is supposed to untangle these fuckin’ laundry list of cords, You?, The neighboors?, the municipality? Hell no, you have make that phone call that you knew you didn’t want to have to make, You bite the fuckin’ bullet and call the most hated tradesmen on the fuckin’ planet “The Knotsmiths.”

Now just keep in mind, these ain’t fuckin’ lawyers, engineers or medical fuckin’ professionals, nope, they are fuckin’ “Knotsmiths.” Everywhere that there are cords and tangled up fuckin’ cables the fuckin’ “Knotsmiths” aren’t far behind. They are total pros, that’s why they are so fuckin’ successful. Their untangling techniques are secretly handed down from each generation of “Knotsmith.” Who else is gonna untangled that fuckin’ mess of fuckin’ cords behind your son’s fuckinm’ “X-box”??? Yeah, and who else could possibly get to the bottom of that pile of “Doomed extenders” and fuckin’ “Hyperbolic power bars” behind your home computer desk?? You gotta call a “Knotsmith” right? Of fuckin’ course. But, then you have to pay them double scale just to ensure that they don’t run amok, which they always fuckin’ well do, if you let ’em

After the “Knotsmiths” arrive, you gotta watch ’em like a hawk. You may get a strange “Visa” bill from “Mexico” a few months down the pipe…But that massive bundle of auxillary cables in your kitchen drawer is all neat and ready to link your devices. “Knotsmiths” ‘ya can’t live with ’em and ‘ya can’t live without ’em. We’ve all been there at 5am screaming at a pile of skipping ropes lumped next to your workout DVD’s.

Sometimes when the world gives you lemons you make fuckin’ lemonade right?? Just remember they are total pros, just try to tolerate their presence long enough to get it all in order. “Knotsmiths” fucking “Knotsmiths!!!”

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